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Ophelia
Speaks: Adolescent Girls Write About Their Search for Self
by Sara Shandler
Review by Vincent
J Felitti, MD
New
York: HarperPerennial; 1999. ISBN: 006-0952970
Paperback $12.95.
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The
editor of this book is a teenaged girl who conceived the idea of publishing
a book of brief essays written by adolescent girls. She asked hundreds
of girls from around the country and from a wide range of backgrounds
to write about the most important of their life experiences. The result
is an impressive piece of psychosocial journalism that will be important
and useful to anyone wanting firsthand descriptions of the life-shaping
experiences faced by teenage girls. Some of those experiences reflect
contemporary issues; some go back to biblical times. Ophelia Speaks
is thus relevant for physicians, both in their practices and in their
homes; for parents who cannot understand what is happening to their
daughters; and for adolescents themselves.
The
book is divided into five sections: The Body Under Assault; Family
Matters; The Best and Worst of Friends; Touched by Desire; and Overcoming
Obstacles and Coming Into Our Own. Each section begins with a few
pages of the author's remarkably frank descriptions of her own feelings
and experiences in that area, followed by those of her contributors.
Of the process of creating the book, she writes," most girls,
but not all, opened the door on dark and disturbing times. Still others
allowed light, instead of darkness, to glitter in their contributions."1:p.xvi
Section
One discusses sexual abuse, something we all tend to deny but which
current news articles force us to acknowledge. The editor writes,
" I was asked, 'Would you use the [Wesleyan College] escort service?'
I sighed, 'I don't want to recognize the possibility of my being raped
at my new home. If I call the escort service, I'm admitting to myself
I can't be safe here walking alone.' Yet the mere existence of sexual
violence shapes me."1:p54
Family
Matters addresses loss, especially the ongoing effects of divorce,
but also death. "I can remember nights that I would yell and
scream at my mother-but only in my head: Why did you abandon
us? Do you know what you did when you left us?"1:p100
Eating
disorders are common, although we generally do not recognize them
in our medical practice. These disorders are described clearly in
the book, sometimes along with other distressing techniques, such
as self-cutting: "When blood starts to gush out of the newly
opened veins, all the bad feelings fly out with it and I find release.
I find my heaven. If only they would ever let me bleed long enough.
They believe they are saving me, but only I know how to save myself."1:p93
The remarkable editor observes, "Sadly, tragically, three abusive
themes--incest, violence, and alcoholism-were mentioned more
often than all others when girls wrote about their fathers."1:p105
Touched
by Desire contains details, often counterintuitive, of adolescent
love and affection. Some of the stories may induce personal remembrance
of anguish and confusion or perhaps memories of emotional support
and understanding. "No one wrote about feeling satisfied by first-time
sexual relationships. Instead of feeling love and commitment, girls
consistently reported disappointment and disillusionment."1:p184-5
One girl writes, "I thought by having sex together we would become
closer; instead it tore us apart."1:p185 The book
contains meaningful descriptions of manipulative and destructive relationships.
Its
concept and firsthand descriptions make this a remarkable book. Its
thematic material makes it an important book because it affects us
all: as humans, as parents, and as physicians. We might wonder how
these girls' emotions will later manifest in our offices decades later.
Adolescence is not an easy time; we will remember that Shakespeare's
Ophelia escapes into madness. Some of these girls will escape into
illness. Will we be aware of its causality? Or will we merely respond
to its physical symptoms while knowing nothing of our patients' unexpressed
feelings?
Reference
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Shandler S. Ophelia speaks: adolescent girls write about their search
for self. New York: HarperPerennial; 1999.
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