Book Reviews

"The truth about childhood is stored up in our body, and although we can repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our perceptions confused, and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill " --Alice Miller¹

Alice Miller, PhD, is a German psychoanalyst whose mission in life is to make the world a better place for children by helping the adults who care for them understand their own childhood events. She has written ten books about the effects of childhood on the lives of adults. Her equally important other goal is to expand that responsibility to society--ie, the villages that raise the children. For Your Own Good may be Dr Miller's most renowned book, and this review doubles as a tribute to Dr Miller and to her firm and persistent voice.

Miller writes about a "helping witness"--someone who acts (routinely, or even once at a critical time) with kindness toward the child and who somehow, by looking into the child's eyes, shows the child another way to live and be. This helper may have no idea of his or her role but nonetheless acts as a counterweight to the cruelty or neglect a child experiences. DR Miller says that a critical prerequisite for normal survival is that at least once in their lives, mistreated children come into contact with a person who understands that the environment, not the child, is at fault. This helping witness teaches the child that he or she is worthy of kindness. This lesson is the basis for resilience.

DR Miller also describes a "knowing or enlightened witness"--someone who understands the importance of being a helping witness. This person recognizes the adverse effects of childhood trauma or neglect and is willing to give emotional support that helps a child understand and express true feelings. Sadly, the first (and perhaps only) "knowing witness" in most people's lives is often a therapist--but readily could be any physician, nurse, or teacher who is willing to understand what the child sees every day.

In her struggles with the question, "What causes evil in the world?" Miller writes here about the childhood of Adolph Hitler, Josef Stalin, and other mass murderers. Most recently, she wrote about corporal punishment.² She documents a worldwide fact: Most of today's parents and teachers were physically punished as children. Society's argument to justify this phenomenon is that being beaten, especially by a parent, prepares children for life and helps them learn to be obedient; indeed, we are all familiar with the exhortation to "beat some sense into [him/her/them]." In disagreement with this viewpoint, Miller argues that being beaten and unable to defend themselves only teaches children that they are not worthy of protection or respect. Beaten children become humiliated and confused although soon are taught that the beating is "for their own good" and does no lasting harm. Much later, this type of beating becomes a part of their own so-called good parenting--forming the basis for much violence in the world. The events of September 11, 2001, have provided the world an additional example of anger, revenge, and ignorance expressed as violence toward oneself and others--and have brought Miller's For Your Own Good back into focus.

References

1. Miller A. Thou shalt not be aware: society's betrayal of the child. Translated from the German by H and H Hannum; with a preface by L deMause and a new introduction by the author. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux; 1998. p 315.
2. Miller A. The truth will set you free: overcoming emotional blindness and finding your true adult self. [Translated from the German]. New York: Basic Books; 2001.

Bibliography of works by Alice Miller, PhD

Prisoners of childhood. Translated from the German by R Ward. New York: Basic Books; 1981.

For your own good: hidden cruelty in child-rearing and the roots of violence. Translated from the German by H and H Hannum. New York: Farrar, Straus, Giroux; 1983.

Thou shalt not be aware: society's betrayal of the child. Translated from the German by H and H Hannum; with a preface by L deMause and a new introduction by the author. New York: Farrar, Straus, Giroux; 1998.

Pictures of a childhood: sixty-six water colors and an essay. Translated from the German by H Hannum. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux; 1986.

Banished knowledge: facing childhood injuries. Translated from the German by L Vennewitz. New York: Doubleday; 1990.

The untouched key: tracing childhood trauma in creativity and destructiveness. Translated from the German by H and H Hannum. New York: Doubleday; 1990.

Breaking down the wall of silence: the liberating experience of facing painful truth. Translation from the German by S Worrall. Revised ed. New York: Meridian; 1997.

The drama of the gifted child: the search for the true self. Translated from the German by R Ward. [Revised ed.] New York: Basic Books; 1997.

Paths of life: seven scenarios. Translated from the German. New York: Pantheon Books; 1998.

The truth will set you free: overcoming emotional blindness and finding your true adult self. Translated from the German. New York: Basic Books; 2001.

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